Carl Jung in his book "Modern Man in Search of His Soul", compares the phase of life with the progression of the sun across the sky, from East to West. He is middle-aged between 35 and 50, and calls it the High Noon of one's existence. It can be an exciting time with great opportunities, if one is not surprised by the aging process. It should be welcomed as a period of discovery, rather than a time of stagnation or division. It requires a change in lifestyle, character and confidence. Immature responses lead to good results. The transition period lasts as long as it needs to be revived, and the value is compiled. It may take between three and five years.
Realizing the changes that can occur in men and women, one needs to be psychologically prepared, and recognize the symptoms when they occur, so that crisis can be avoided.
"People who prepare for fire are more likely to survive than not," said a wise man. And British psychoanalyst Elliot Jacques assures us that creative people like Goethe, Beethoven, Voltaire and Ibsen have all experienced mid-life upheaval.
But for those who are not ready, middle age can catch them by accident. On a good day, in the morning walk, a man may find that he has been followed by another young man and he is unable to pursue him; Or the mirror can reveal gray in the shrines or receding hairlines; Or when the kids on the street urge him to call him "Uncle," the realization suddenly hears that Big "C" has arrived. A man who bragged about his "macho" image acted like a man confronted with an impending death. He went through various stages of denial, anger, depression, and sought ways and means to slow down the aging process. Sudden heart attacks due to extreme anxiety, are known to increase in the early forties.
The decline in hormone levels and sexual dysfunction make it a kind of despair that makes her speechless. She may be more neat in her makeup, dress neatly, invest in luxury cars, or indulge in teenage pursuits such as jumping disco. This is the time when she falls in love with an extraordinary marriage with a girl who is young enough to be his daughter, because of her admiration and need to raise her pride. This is the classic "Sugar-Daddy" syndrome, where through the eyes of a nubile girl, she feels young again. He became invisible to the people around him. She sees her married life as boring and boring. Almost 25% of divorces take place during this critical time. Married couples and families break up because of this violation of sexual fidelity. At the time of the happy death of the affair, he realized that his marriage was ruined, and that he had no place for fun. Therefore, he may escape from one thing to another, or exchange a drink or medicine to appease his spirit.
Bergler called it the "Emotional Secondary Teen." Sometimes a middle-aged man can be sexually aware of his own daughter. Then, hatred, regret, shame and guilt haunt him.
Those living in a marriage may have low satisfaction. They may become angry and easily offended, and ruin the home environment, choosing their poor wives without their faults.
This is also the stage where men feel trapped between two generations, each burdening them with responsibility. Raising children on the one hand, who want to assert their independence and experience the difficulties associated with parenting, and on the other, older relatives who depend on others to crave constant attention.
At work, professional life may be on the plateau, without further promotion prospects; Or he may be burdened with so much responsibility that he does not leave time for family and personal life; Or the competition from younger, more knowledgeable friends can be fierce, so he perseveres.
And finally, he faced his own death. Arthritis, bifocal, diabetes, hypertension and other diseases make life uncomfortable.
Some stress factors focus on a middle-aged man, and it is estimated that nearly 75-80% of men between the ages of 35-50 suffer from middle-aged problems in this century.
Transitions can be positive when properly planned. According to Freud, Man has two basic needs - Work and Love, and Dr Joyce Brothers says that Work takes priority over Love.
This is a time for a man to review and revise his goals. If he works hard, he must spend time and spend time with his wife and children. She can sometimes be frustrated that it is too late to establish meaningful relationships with her children. They may not be on the same wavelength anymore. They may have a sudden interest in them with suspicion.
If there is a desire to change jobs, this must be planned and discussed with his family, as he needs their moral support. Many people in the middle age find internal pressure to throw a stable job security for something they want to do all the time, but don't dare. Many writers and artists feel this need. The doctor has given up the lucrative job of using the pen. Gaugin, at 35, quit a safe bank job to continue painting. He later became a great Impressionist painter.
Another great way to keep the middle age apart from the turbulent crisis is to build strong marital partnerships. Contemporary culture has denied the institution of marriage and sexual fidelity. However, most community problems can be detected for unsatisfactory and unstable home situations.
"Good marriages do not occur in marriage ceremonies. They grow over the years, through many times of doubt and despair, adjustment and compromise," said a psychologist. This is reached in the middle ages, when the pressure of one or both partners affects one another. The power of marriage lies in the ability to understand the negatives of the couple, and overcome them patiently. A wife will not only understand her husband's problems but listen to them, encourage her to talk about her hopes and aspirations, and evaluate and redefine their values when necessary. Men who feel secure in marriage will not hesitate to convey their needs and fears to their spouse. Likewise, the husband will be the tower of strength to his wife who may have been through a middle age crisis.
Various fears of holding a man in the middle of life. Fear of impotence and failure
Erections cause anxiety, depression, and sometimes silent withdrawal from sex. Aging can reduce the frequency of sexual needs. He began to fear that his wife might be interested in other men. The media proclaimed modern women to be dissatisfied, and this prevented them. Marital relations to save her own image are a sign of marital discord. A good wife will not be happy. She would understand the chaos in her husband, and quickly reassure her with her support and cooperation. It is not sex that drives a person away but lacks intimacy. If problems occur during this critical period, it does not mean that the marriage should end. Loving friends are very willing to forgive, especially when the offending partner is sad and ashamed of what has happened. The discovery of the case will ruin its glamor and excitement, and act as a hindrance to the future. It is even more important to identify the causes of infidelity, and to overcome them.
Sexual life does not come in the middle of life. Instead, it improved, as there was a new freedom from slavery. Couples can discuss without shame, aspects of intimate relationships. Only rates and patterns can change. In her youth, a man reached a climax within minutes, and many wives were left disappointed and sexually imperfect. But in the middle age when stimulation is slow, and erectile response is weakening, the woman will have ample opportunity to climax with her husband, as more time is spent on foreplay and tenderness. Expressive expressions of conversation, hugs or touch can bring physical gratification, more than the act itself. The "sexual revolution" is possible even in this age. Couples who value their sexual activity discover new aspects of each other, and have a great selection of sexual practices for experimentation. The sense of humor and freedom to explore can keep young couples active in old age. Comedian Woody Allen's aging Casanova, says that out of 56 sex roles, only eight can be achieved without laughing.
Middle Ages also see little change in individual roles. A man mellows as he gets older. Having reached the pinnacle of his career, he now longs for closeness with his wife and family. He expects his wife to act like a girlfriend, loving and caring. However, the wife who spent her best years raising a family, sacrificing her own needs, is now confident and firm, and wants her own space for growth. He may also be looking for career options outside his home. Although she became more assertive, her husband became less dominant. Despite her hidden masculine nature, feminine aspects such as sensitivity and tenderness come before her husband. So a new role balance is achieved in every aspect of their lives. Values and beliefs change. New friends and new fun are catching up to their interests.
Middle life can be a very special time. It opens our eyes to aspects of our lives that are never fully satisfied, and gives us an opportunity to re-orientate our personality. With an understanding partner on our side, who is not only our best friend but very committed to marriage, middle age need not worry.
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