Increasing relationship awareness is a recent topic of Mike and Juliet's Morning Show; where contact members are asked to consider questions such as: "Is cheating normal in committed relationships?" and, "Is flirting okay?" Other relationship issues, such as, "Why are traits and behaviors once considered 'cute' to be disgusting?" Understanding the answers to these questions can really help you build better and stronger relationships - and help you avoid the common pitfalls that cause most relationships to end in disaster.
Society is certainly not set up to encourage monogamous behavior in men. Culture promotes women and promotes "undefined" behavior in men - and then teaches them to laugh about it rather than learn from it. The consensus for this sad fact is that more than half of all marriages end in divorce - about the same as the percentage of men who cheat on their wives. Of course women also cheat; but, historically, men have damaged relationships more than women. From less than half of all marriages still intact, it is safe to say that they are not all happy unions. Marriage, statistically, is not a natural state; marriage is - which is why most people get married. A happy marriage is, without a doubt, one of the rarest birds on the planet. But why do men do what they do to ruin relationships; and what can be done about it?
Basically, we all need incentives to do whatever we do. For a man to pay close attention and energy to create a better relationship, he must have a reason for doing so. Men do what they do for a number of reasons:
1. Genetic programming and early examples of their fathers and other male family members,
2. Programming from friends, television, and other environmental sources,
3. Desire (Controlled or uncontrolled),
4. Boredom,
5. Witness / Witness,
6. Unconsciousness,
7. Hate,
8. Rewards / Recognition,
9. Personal gain / greed,
10. Fear / Protection / Self-preservation
There are, of course, many other reasons for the way people behave; and not all male behavior is harmful or unproductive. But it's important to note that people only do what they know, and they always have some reason to do it over everyone else - and every reason not to. The secret to leveraging your relationships is to create a list of incentives for more constructive and productive behaviors - and then act on them. Fortunately, science and medicine - along with hundreds of years of observation - have given us more than enough incentive for men to work on their relationships. Here are some great things:
1. Health: A happy relationship improves your health; An unhappy relationship causes stress - which is responsible for most medical problems - including impotence.
2. Happiness: Do you prefer to be happy or unhappy? Do you prefer "right," or "boss;" or are you a bit happy and healthy? Do you have to think about this?
3. Success and Prosperity: Happy people are far more creative and resourceful than dissatisfied people; they are also "more fortunate," more energetic and positive, and more likely to incorporate better circumstances and associations into their lives.
4. Economics: While staying miserable for saving money is a foolish thing to do; breaking up is expensive - so are new relationships. Child support and alimony - along with lost resources - are some of the other financial considerations that accompany a broken marriage.
Once you have the incentive, all you need is an idea of who you want to be and what kind of relationship you want to enter. or further away from them. Admittedly, mastery of a relationship is not an easy task; but you don't have to be the master to make your relationship better - you just want to, and know that you can do it.
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